Proving Myself
by Luv2write1
Summary: Helga and Arnold are friends. Helga starts to feel pain because of Arnold/Lila's relationship. Is it love?
1. Too Much

Hey Arnold! Too Much The day started as I woke up to start another day. I looked around my room to find me in my clear blue room. Yea, I have changed from pink to blue since I have gone from elementary to middle school and now high school. The only two remaining items in my room that are pink is a pink bow, and one of the many pink dresses I used to wear.   
  
I got out of my bed and headed to get ready for school. I washed up and headed downstairs. I grabbed a granola bar and left the house.  
  
Outside waiting was my best friend, and personal slave. She was waiting at the bottom of my stoop organizing her book bag. As soon as she saw me she said "Hi Helga! Ready for school?"   
  
Sometimes she got a little too excited. I answered with a slow "Whatever".   
  
We started walking for the bus stop when I bumped into someone. Guess who!   
  
Actually Arnold and I have become good friends. I decided in 7th grade that my love for him was gay and wasted my time and tears for him. Phoebe, Gerald, Arnold and I have become best friends and we go everywhere. Well, not all the time because Gerald and Phoebe are going steady while Arnold is going out with---   
  
"Hello Sweetie!" Lila screamed.   
  
"Hey!" Arnold called back.   
  
"How are you on this oh-so-special-day?"   
  
Yea, she was the same...unfortunately. I still have a pain of jealousy when she comes around, but hey what can I do? I don't want to feel that, but I can't help it. I just try to ignore them. Besides, Arnold only falls for girls with a pretty face. That's not the kind of guy I want.   
  
The guys have all changed and look pretty god except for Harold. Better not say that out loud. He joined the wrestling team last year. Sid and Stinky are skaters, and I have to admit Sid does look pretty good. Gerald is obviously a jock, playing almost every sport invented. Phoebe is still herself, maintaining her "A" grades and most likely going to be Valedictorian. Rhonda and Lila are best friends now. Lila started hanging out with Rhonda and followed Rhonda around everywhere. Lila loved shopping, but didn't have the money. Rhonda's family gave them tons of money to Lila's family because Rhonda begged them. Rhonda needed someone to shop with her. Nadine didn't care for her style and moved with her family to Africa to research bugs in the 8th grade. Sheena and Eugene are dating, but their "dates," are by going to a classical music dance club.   
  
That was pretty much everyone who I kept in touch or just noticed around.   
  
I had zoomed out for the last 5 minutes while 2 couples had their "make-out session."   
  
Suddenly I feel hot tears coming done my cheeks. I couldn't believe it! I hadn't cried for years now. I kept telling myself that I didn't love Arnold anymore. I kept repeating it in my mind that he fell for pretty faces, not for who you really are. It didn't seem to work though. I couldn't let any of them see me so I quickly ran to school.   
  
I could hear Arnold's voice asking "Helga?"   
  
I turned to see his questioning face, but he was pulled by Lila to another kiss, and I ran too kept running. I couldn't hold my feelings anymore. It was too much. 


	2. Realizations

Hey People! Umm. . I just realized that the chapters are coming up a lot smaller than I thought!?  
  
Realizations  
  
I kept running, into the school past everyone, and into the bathroom. I looked into the mirror only to see my face completely red. I stared into the mirror and then imagined Lila standing next to me. I would be considered crap next to her. No wonder Arnold loves her.  
  
After what felt like hours I left not caring anymore on what people thought. As I walked to my locker I could feel eyes on me. I just ignored them and kept going. When I got there Phoebe was already there. She could sense that something was the matter.  
  
"Helga, what happened out there?" she asked.  
  
"Nothing." I replied trying to act casual.  
  
"Helga, give it up. I saw what you did. I saw that LOOK."  
  
"Lay off would you? It's just something that happened.at home.."  
  
"Yea, I'm sure. I just want to let you know that I'm here to talk to if you ever want to."  
  
"Yea. Ok."  
  
We both headed to our own classes. Unfortunately I had math. I wasn't in the mood to hear Ms. Currier's raspy voice. I walked in and sat in the back. I started thinking about what had happened.  
  
I am so confused. Does this mean I like Arnold again? I don't want to like him again. The pain will be unbearable now that he has a girlfriend. Can I steal him away from her? Nah. Out of the question. Wait a minute why should I be planning this when I'm not sure how I feel. Or maybe I do, but I keep denying it. AHH!!! This is too much! I can't stand it!  
  
Then out of no where a piece of paper is on my desk. I looked around and slowly opened it.  
  
Yo Helga, What's up? Party at Rhonda's! On Friday, 7pm to..? You're invited considering that Lila is friends with Rhonda and Lila is going out with Arnold and you're his friend. Invite Phoebe and Gerald too. See you there! Oh yea! This is more of a formal party. Go figure! -Sid  
  
I glanced at Sid and gave a quick grin. He just smiled back.  
  
Suddenly got very excited for this party. I haven't been to a party in a long time. I wasn't exactly the nicest person in the world. Now that I am friends with Arnold I totally in. Wait a minute, what am I gonna wear? I don't really go well with dresses. I'll have to go shopping with Pheebs later.  
  
After math my morning classes seemed to pass really quick. Soon enough it was lunchtime. I sat in our normal corner. I was there first just like usual. My last class was closer to the cafeteria then the others. Gerald came in couple of minutes later. He sat down next to me and just stared. I met his questioning eyes.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I saw you," he replied.  
  
I just turned away.  
  
"Helga, what happened? Now that I know I'm going to bug you until you tell me"  
  
"You wouldn't understand"  
  
"Try me"  
  
"No. You'll tell.everyone about it"  
  
"You want me to get Arnold talk to you. He's good with problems"  
  
"NO!" I shouted back to fast.  
  
Everyone in the cafeteria turned to me. I blushed and turned back to Gerald.  
  
"Ok. Nevermind. You want to talk somewhere else.alone."  
  
"Not really."  
  
"Well then I will get Arnold."  
  
"Fine. Whatever"  
  
"Ok. Let's meet at the bridge in the park."  
  
I nodded. I watched as Phoebe and Arnold walk into the cafeteria. They sat down next to us. The 3 of them started talking together. I just listen. They then realize I was out of it.  
  
"Helga?" Arnold asked.  
  
"Oh yea. I was just thinking about.the party at Rhonda's this Friday. It starts at 7. You guys coming?"  
  
"Yea. Of course" Phoebe answered. Arnold and Gerald nodded with agreement.  
  
"Cool" I replied back with a smile.  
  
Gerald had this weird look on his face at me. I just turned away.  
  
After lunch I had language arts, my favorite subject. I have a 100 average. So far, we have only talked about journalism. I'm definitely going to be a journalist when I grow up. It's the only profession that I know I can succeed at. The teacher, Mrs. Kresky loves my writing. She knows I don't participate in class, but she figured out in the beginning of the year that my writing says everything about me so she learned things about from them. Of course, not everyone understands my writing, which may be a good thing. I write some pretty secret things in my writing, but no one knows exactly what I'm implying them on. Mrs. Kresky says she understands my writing, but hopefully knows how to keep a secret.  
  
"Alright class, today we will begin the new chapter of poetry. The whole class groaned, except..me. I love poetry. I can write for hours. I have tons of books from the past filled with poetry of Arnold. These days I write about life in general.  
  
"I would like everyone to write a poem. From there I will find what level of poetry we have to start at. So, begin!"  
  
Slowly books started opening and papers shuffling. I ripped a piece of paper out and started letting my hand write.  
  
I need you To keep going, Don't know what to do Your love for her is growing  
  
You don't love me I'm alone Hugging my knee Hear the phone  
  
I listen to your voice So loving and fine I get lost in it  
  
"Alright class, time's up! Pass them up your aisle"  
  
I quickly scribbled my last line in.  
  
Longing to make you mine  
  
I read my poem and couldn't believe what I had just written. It was about.someone. Unfortunately Arnold was sitting in front of me.  
  
"Helga, passing it up?"  
  
"Oh yea! Here."  
  
I noticed he was reading mine and before I could snatch it from him he moved it away. He eventually finished reading.  
  
"Wow! Helga, you wrote this?! It's amazing. It's like it's true. Great job"  
  
"Thanks, I guess"  
  
Once he turned around I had a big smile on my face. Then I realized that he doesn't know it's true. He thinks I made it all up. That I'm not really in love. I felt depressed all over again.  
  
"Alright class. Now I will be reading each of your writings' out loud." Mrs. Kresky called.  
  
I really don't care about that anymore. I speak for the truth and everyone knows it.  
  
After all the writings' were done the bell rang and I started leaving for the bus. I then remembered I had to meet Gerald at the park. I headed towards the park. I Along the way I tried to think of an excuse to why I ran away. I couldn't think of any! Once I entered the park I noticed Gerald sitting on the bench dazing off. I had to laugh.  
  
"Hey Gerald! Phoebe went home already." I joked.  
  
"Very funny!" He laughed back.  
  
I sat down next to him and waited for him to say something.  
  
"So?" he replied.  
  
"What?" I answered back.  
  
"What happened today?"  
  
"Nothing"  
  
"Helga, people don't just go running away unless they have a reason."  
  
"So maybe I have a reason"  
  
"Well then what is it?"  
  
"Umm.I felt sick.had to throw up" I replied slowly which wasn't exactly a lie.  
  
"Tell me the truth. I won't tell anyone, I swear. Not even Phoebe."  
  
"She already knows..Oops!" I blushed horribly.  
  
"Ok, if you don't tell me I'll find out and then tell everyone."  
  
"Fine..The truth is.I used to like Arnold when we were young. I just realized yesterday that today when Arnold and Lila were making out that I have feelings for him again. I even wrote a love poem during Language Arts. That's proof because I never write anything I don't mean."  
  
It took Gerald a minute for him to take everything in.  
  
"So your basically jealous"  
  
"I guess. Even though I don't want to be like that."  
  
"You can't help things like that. They just come naturally. Don't stop liking Arnold just because he has a girlfriend. That can always change. He may even like you now. I know he cares about you and you guys do get along great. You guys would make a great couple, and if you give up now, he may never realize that.  
  
"Thanks, Gerald. I never realized or thought of that possibility." I replied.  
  
I gave him a quick hug and left the park. As I walked on the sidewalk, across the street were Arnold and Lila. They seemed to be fighting. I quickly crossed the street and hid behind a trashcan.  
  
"Lila, I saw you. You were flirting with another guy. How can you call me your boyfriend" Arnold demanded. 


End file.
